Before the Ship Sinks

I pour another round get my head straight
 I'm looking all around it's a checkmate
 I'm tryna hold it down in the best way
 And trying not to drown if the ship sinks
 But we gon be alright we gon be fine
 We gon be alright we just need time
 We gon be alright we gon be fine
 But I'll be holding on for the mean time
 Sometimes I wish I had a fresh start
 A clean slate can I press start
 I been constantly obsessing bout the future feeling stupid
 Unaware that I've been living through the best parts
 My cousin Mark called my line he said he proud of me
 I won't forget the night he called me I was sound asleep
 I could barely hear a word just the sound of weeps
 His dad died unexpectedly fuck
 He already lost his moms what the fuck is going on
 He barely 24 I'm tryna tell him stay strong like I understand
 But I don't understand shit
 That's why I never judge on how another man lives
 The trauma in your brain takes up all the bandwidth
 Tryna heal the pain apply another bandage huh
 I was sipping whiskey till I dozed off
 It helps me open up I'm usually closed off
 I always thought suppressing my emotions was the proper thing to do
 I never knew that I was so off
 Parents never taught me they were fighting demons
 So my older brother watched me
 We don't talk a lot but I know he's always got me
 We been through the same shit
 You don't choose the hand I guess that's just the way the game is
 Man we always made it work overthinking shit that only made it worse
 I used to write a verse and be late to work
 I had to do whatever it would take to work
 Been through real shit this ain't rehearsed
 I told 'em Ima be the one to break the curse
 I pour another round get my head straight
 I'm looking all around it's a checkmate
 I'm tryna hold it down in the best way
 And trying not to drown if the ship sinks