complex

I'm 21, the edge is razor-thin
 Between being numb and feeling everything
 Good days only serve as relief again
 Now I'm watching as I waste away my days and then
 It's a cross dissolve, it's a scene I've played before
 And the leading role that I thought I'd hold
 Doesn't listen to me anymore
 But I'm wearing his boxers, I'm being a good wife
 We won't be together, but maybe the next life
 I need him like water, he lives on a landslide
 I cry in his bathroom, he turns off the big light
 I'm being the cool girl, I'm keeping it so tight
 I carry him home while my friends have a good night
 I need him like water, he thinks that I'm alright
 I'm not feeling human, I think he's a good guy
 But it is complex, it's a complex
 ♪
 Triangular, I can see them now
 Three points at which I let myself down
 I was just a girl, what's the excuse now?
 Too regular, this pattern I've
 Been taking shelter in, reaching new highs
 When I was 19, I wanted to die
 Now I just wanna kill you, but I don't wanna paint you the victim
 And I talk a good game, I'd die for just the promise you'd listen
 But I'm wearing his boxers, I'm being a good wife
 We won't be together, but maybe the next life
 I need him like water, he lives on a landslide
 I cry in his bathroom, he turns off the big light
 I'm being the cool girl, I'm keeping it so tight
 I carry him home while my friends have a good night
 I need him like water, he thinks that I'm alright
 I'm not feeling human, I think he's a good guy
 But it's complex, it's a complex
 It's a complex, I'm a complex