Henchman

I hope you've got a health care plan and if you don't I understand
 But I got a question for ya', does your hideout have a covered lot?
 And here's the hours I'm looking for, a part time shift from noon to four
 But not on Tuesdays cuz that's when I Dungeon Master for my friends
 Do I qualify for this?, Well let me tell you what you've missed
 I fired lasers from a sub, one year I blew a whole bridge up
 I spent a month up on the moon, raised in rank peon to goon
 I could've gone much higher, except for the fact my boss was burned alive
 By a man shooting magma from his hands
 I saw my job go up in a flame and it's a shame
 I'm curious what you pay and I could start today
 Have faith in what's inside like Cringer turning in to Battle Cat
 So here I am again and with this leaky pen I summarize my skill set
 Realize my path in life is set: I'll always be a henchman
 You ask me what it is I'd do if I saw someone steal from you
 I'd stab him in his back and take it for myself, of course, you see
 I know that's what you'd want to hear, so drop a line to Señor Fear
 Is Dr. Hatred in your Five? He'll eat your bill alive
 So you better call now before he heads underground
 To fight the troglodytes in their cave, he's got a full plate
 Is there 401k? And dental would be great
 Joints disconnect like Voltron, I've got bum knees not lions to stand on
 So here I am again, I love the feng shui in this den
 I've worked for Psycho Possum. Compared to his your place is awesome
 Oh, I'll always be a henchman
 Other guys have weeks vacations
 I work for dudes with lacerations on their faces
 These people they have aspirations
 They want to rule a private nation
 When the screws you have are loose, what else you gonna do?
 Appreciate your time today, there's not much more to say
 Hope I'm what you're looking for though
 You'll find I'm handy just like Panthro
 Oh, I'll always be henchman
 Oh oh oh oh oh, I'll always be a henchman
 Oh oh oh this is what I do, I'll always be a henchman
 This is who I am, I'll always be a henchman