Medium Man Song

I was never the guy that could hook up everybody in the dorm up with weed, but I was the guy who knew the guy who knew that guy.
 And I was never the guy that could make everybody a fake ID, but when that guy got busted I was glad I wasn't that guy.
 I never made the tennis team or the soccer team, but I was solid in [?], boys vs.
 girls.
 I was never a big hit at parties, but I waited tables in a bar, where a lot of cool people hang out.
 It was like the movie "
 St.
 Elmo's Fire", and I was Emilio Estevez.
 By the way I'm Emilio Estevez, Estevez.
 I'm a medium man, yes the medium man that went to Lauderdale, and got me a tan, with my grandparents on spring break.
 In the summer, my grandma went wild.
 Should I sign a petition of free to [?], or where the f*ck is that I forget.
 I'm too busy being medium, ordering chicken fingers and eating them, buying goldfish and feeding them, no way I was eating them.
 I'm Emilio Estevez, I mean what happened to that guy.
 If you are ever alone and you are feeling medium, just remember that at Starbucks you're "grande".