sincerely, your son

Yeah, where do I start?
 Feel like I'm losing myself
 I know I am messed up inside
 But how am I wrong for refusing to help?
 I feel like it can't be fixed
 Maybe I am stuck in the dark
 I just don't think all the pills can fix the pain in my heart
 So I guess it is pointless
 I lay in the dark in my sorrow, today I just gave it my all
 But there isn't enough for tomorrow
 Because I am tired of the pain, I am tired of fighting
 Just tell me what it is worth
 To give my all to these people, for me to be selfless?
 Just to be filled with this hurt
 What is the point?
 'Cause I cannot see anymore
 I feel like there is no point in living my life
 'Cause I am not me anymore
 And they say it gets better, but it's been forever
 So I don't think I believe it
 It properly gets better with time, but I won't be here to see it
 But please don't be mad
 It's not that I am weak, I am just tired
 I wish that my heart wasn't broken
 'Cause then I could work on my mind
 But life isn't fair I know, and not being happy is killing me
 I try to be vocal, they listen
 But I don't think that you're hearing me
 I hate that I am broken
 I hate that I am stupid
 I hate that I fell like a mistake
 I hate when I am talking to God
 I feel like he don't listen in times when I pray
 I hate that I look in the mirror
 And I hate the man lookin' back
 I hate that I am so insecure
 I just wish you'd understand
 Mama if you listen, please don't be mad
 I know what I am doing ain't right
 Your son isn't perfect
 I am not a fighter, I want you to know that I tried
 I want you to know that I love you
 But lately, I don't feel like me
 It was nothing that you did, you did what you could
 It's something that is wrong with me
 Since I was young, I've always felt like this
 I never thought that I belonged
 And this isn't because I am depressed
 It's 'cause I feel so alone
 It's 'cause I feel like a burden
 I am always living with grief
 I've always felt like the problem, and that's why everyone leaves
 But really, I'm sorry, I know you wanted what's best for me
 The world has been taking my soul
 But I leave you everything left in me
 I love you forever and always
 To the moment that you know I am gone
 That moment is sooner than later
 I love you, sincerely your son