Poor Pirates

Let me begin with a hearty ho-ho
 And a tale that nobody tells well
 I've not come all the way from In-C-I-N-O
 To be treated like sewage that smells
 Now I'm certainly not that surprised
 For this story is older than time
 Me peg-legged pirate bretheren and I
 Are society's slug-ridden slime
 We've all been cast out as scallywag rogues
 With fire in our beards and our eyes
 There's a side to us pirates that nobody knows
 And it's soft as a baby's backside
 Some of us just want adventures
 We only seek wind in our earrings
 Why are we constantly misunderstood?
 Don't ya know pirates have feelings?
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates
 Can't deny this simple truth
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-are
 People too (too)
 "Nice harmonies, mateys!"
 Think of how hard we have had it (so hard)
 'Bout our ships there is not much to eat (not much to eat)
 And dentists hate pirate insurance (yo-ho, no!)
 Which is why we've so many gold teeth (we've too many gold teeth)
 Laundry stays damp and me boots start to sink
 And me fingernails filthy and dirty
 The internet loads unbelievably slow
 And we bedtimes are at seven thirty
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-r, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-r, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates
 Can't deny this simple truth
 We're poor pirates, p-o-o-r, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-r, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates
 Have it so much worser than you
 We've got pirate parades to which nobody comes
 Captain Kidd hosts a marathon but nobody runs
 Long John Silver invented the bloomin' onion
 But d'you think he gets credit for that?
 No!
 Captain Bombum, no one knows his first name
 And Old Greenbeard's been driven completely insane
 Hardly anyone celebrates our one holiday (argggh!)
 Talk Like a Pirate Day
 We are poor pirates, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates
 Can't deny this simple truth
 Can't deny that we're poor (pirates are people too!)
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates, p-o-o-r
 Poor pirates
 Can't deny this simple truth
 That pirates p-o-o-are
 People too
 Yo-ho! Ha!