Sober on Saint Patrick's Day

I'm sober on St. Patrick's Day
 Is there a crueler fate than this
 I doubt it.
 I'm sober on St. Patrick's Day
 Every pub I see around
 Is crowded
 And the people they all say
 There's got to be a better way
 But I'm broke as fuck
 Down on my luck
 Don't even have a nickel
 In my pocket
 Can't find a lick of liquor
 Guess I'll be on my merry way
 Without it
 But then Terry gives me a call
 And he says his keg is full
 Well that's all he had to say
 I'm getting fucked up on St. Patrick's day
 Get the fuck out of my way
 I'm loaded
 Fucked up on St. Patrick's day
 Punch my buddy
 In the fucking nutsack
 Taking a shit off the roof
 Drinking home made liquor
 I don't know the proof
 Yeah I'm fucked up
 Hey what up
 Let's go flip
 That fuckin' taco truck
 Fucked up on St. Patrick's Day
 There's tacos flying everywhere
 Aw fuck yeah
 Good old fashioned taco fight
 Just like back in the olden times
 In Dublin
 Terry's got a fresh bottle
 Of Malort in the trunk
 But he can't find his keys
 And now he's blowing chunks
 People making comments
 That we're sloppy drunks
 But it's St. Patrick's Day
 And we don't give a fuck
 We're fucked up on St. Patrick's day
 Get the fuck out of our way we're loaded