Wallowing

Sometimes I feel crazy like I lost half of my mind
 Moving out of decline without a latter to climb
 And half of the time I feel like I'm actually fine
 Battling my personalities I have it in mind I have it in line
 Until I start to think I zoned off so long I forgot to blink
 Until my hands go numb and I drop my drink
 And the bath keeps filling while I start to sink my heart just shrinks
 While I drown in the tub
 Phone ringing but I can't hear the sound of the buzz
 Feeling like paradise after downing them drugs
 I don't think it'll kill me but I'm down if it does
 And as I drown in the silence
 The phone ringing by the sink starts sounding like a siren
 Heard mama's voice saying this is real life shit
 And boy I didn't raise you to be nothing like this
 You better start fighting
 And if you can't swing them hands little man
 Then you better start biting
 You better start breathing
 You've got a little brother
 He needs someone to look up to and to believe in
 You're too young to be leaving and you and the man up above ain't even
 Pain and regret
 I'm laying right between them
 I had ten drinks and I still haven't eaten
 Head keeps pounding
 Heart still beating
 Water starts bubbling as I start screaming
 I climbed out the tub and I started dry heaving
 Thinking that it's time that I sorted my demons uh
 I let it sink in until the moods gone
 I'm done feeling hollow I've been wallowing to long
 How can I sit and not bother to move on
 When I got a dream and a father to prove wrong
 I mean I gotta keep fighting this
 I made it this far after all types of shit
 Still haven't grown haven't had a wife and kids
 I mean I'm nineteen with a life to live
 And sometimes it gets a lot harder than this
 Think it's no good for you but a part of it is
 Don't agree please pardon me then
 And lord keep watching in case I fall off again.