Birds and Bees

My mother saw me kiss a boy
 When I was only ten
 Well you might think that's not too bad
 But things were different then
 She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knees, she said
 I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
 She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knees, she said
 I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
 She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
 They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
 Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...
 Said all men are bastards
 There's two things they want from you
 Someone at home to cook their meals
 And someone they can screw
 Then after twenty-seven years
 They'll get a little itch
 And they'll run off and leave you
 For some thirty year old bitch
 My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said
 I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
 She said if you use a condom you can do just what you please
 They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
 I don't think my mother liked boys very much
 Then your thoughts might turn to girlies
 Don't fight it, it's okay
 There really is no problem
 If you find out that you're gay
 But you might find it hard to form
 Long-term relationships
 So my advice, just grab the girl
 Who's got the biggest tits
 My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said
 I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
 She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
 They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
 Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...
 When she runs off with someone else
 It might not be the end
 Cause you might take a fancy
 To our fine four-legged things
 But their bits are all in different parts
 You won't know what to do
 So I bought this book with diagrams
 Especially for you
 My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said
 I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
 She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
 They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
 Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...
 Or you might turn to your family
 A couple's not too bad
 Just remember uncle Kevin's mine
 And don't go with your dad
 I said ma, don't patronize me
 Don't take me for a fool
 Everything you've said we learned three years ago in school!
 My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said
 I think it's time that you and I discussed the birds and bees
 She said always use a condom you can do just what you please
 They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs
 Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and...