The Ballad of Tom Jones

What did I do wrong?
 Oh you nearly drove me cuckoo
 Am I really all that bad?
 You're worse than Hannibal Lecter, Charlie Manson, Freddie Krueger
 Why are we still together?
 Oh I can't leave until you're dead
 You mean 'Til Death Do Us Part'?
 I mean like cyanide, strangulation or an axe through your head
 It was lucky for us I turned the radio on
 They say that music soothes the savage beast
 There was something in that voice that stopped us seeing red
 The two of us would surely have ended up dead
 You stopped us from killing each other
 Tom Jones, Tom Jones
 You'll never know but you saved our lives
 Tom Jones, Tom Jones
 I could never throw my knickers at you
 And I don't come from Wales
 So haven't solved our problems
 You mean we hate each others guts
 I still wanna poison your pizza
 And I still wanna cut off your nuts
 I phoned the marriage guidance
 I tied the phone line round your neck
 I'm sick of all this hatred
 Well that will be the arsenic making you sick
 You were about to drive me over the edge of a cliff
 As I tried to jump out I knocked the stereo on
 You changed your mind and then slammed on the brakes
 It was lucky for us we bought his greatest hits
 You stopped us from killing each other
 Tom Jones, Tom Jones
 You'll never know but you saved our lives
 Tom Jones, Tom Jones
 I could never throw my knickers at you
 And I don't come from Wales
 ♪
 And now the war is over
 I've lost the urge to break your neck
 I owe my life to 'What's New Pussycat'
 Delilah stopped me hating you and wishing you dead
 Oh I used to call you Satan
 And you were Cruella de Vil
 And now you call me your Delilah
 And I am not your Lucifer
 And I am just your pussycat
 But just a word of warning now
 Just in case we ever get tired of his voice
 I know the Mafia, Godzilla, King Kong
 And I know an atom bomb that's going for a song
 You stopped us from killing each other
 Tom Jones, Tom Jones
 You'll never know but you saved our lives
 Tom Jones, Tom Jones
 I could never throw my knickers at you
 And I don't come from Wales
 You stopped us from killing each other
 Tom Jones, Tom Jones
 You'll never know but you saved our lives
 Tom Jones, Tom Jones
 I could never throw my knickers at you
 And I don't come from Wales