Luigi's Ballad

Princess Peach
 Won't you listen to my speech?
 I don't have any stars
 Of invincibility
 But you're the brightest star
 In the sky tonight for me
 I am your Luigi
 What up, bitch?
 I got a 1-up, bitch
 What's inside the question block?
 It's my dick
 It's a-me-a-Mario
 I'm more Italian than pastrami
 I'll take you by the peaches
 And give you the hot tamale
 I saved you from dragons
 And evil Boos that are spooky
 Must I be a raccoon
 To get inside your tanooki?
 I will mount you like Yoshi
 And show you things you've never seen
 My mushroom's now mega
 If you know what I mean
 So, suck it
 Mario
 You always do this shit
 I like a girl
 And then you ruin it
 By yelling stuff
 About your dick
 Until they go away
 Hey Luigi
 It's okay
 That Mario's a bit risque
 Just tell me what you need to say
 Please, don't be afraid
 Oh, princess
 It means so much for me
 To hear you say that
 The only thing I've ever
 Wanted to tell you is that
 God dammit
 I'm here to pleasure that ass
 I'd like to go first, princess
 But I always come last
 And you say we'll get together
 But I'm jacking off alone
 Koopa Troopa skeletons
 Aren't the only dry bones
 I am tired of your runaround
 It's such a fucking hassle
 I go through shit and then you're in
 Another fucking castle
 You gotta think about it?
 Well, I don't believe the hype
 You'll have a lot of time to think
 When you are smoking on my warp pipe
 OMG
 I can't decide
 On which of you should be the guy
 To take me on your mustache ride
 That'll redefine my life
 I'm ready to give love a shot
 It's not about how many coins
 You've got
 I just know I like you a lot
 Yo, sluts, check out my yacht (Ugh)
 Let me take you on a magic kart ride
 I'll bust all your balloons when I smack your backside
 We'll have such fun, I'll bring my friends along
 I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his Konkey Dong
 Come on, Peach
 It's time to make your choice
 I'm the only plumber
 That can your boobies rejoice
 My green, lanky-ass brother
 Ain't got shit on me
 It's time to live out our story
 Of the princess and the pea-
 Nis
 So
 Who's it gonna be, princess?
 I choose
 Toad
 Toad?
 Well his whole body is shaped like a dick
 Ooh
 Oh, yeah
 Mhm
 Ok
 Yeah, definitely
 Mushrooms look like dicks