The Simple Plot of Metal Gear Solid (Karaoke Version)

It was the distant future, two thousand and five
 All I wanted to do was chill out and retire
 But genetically enhanced, when a case named Foxhound
 Stole a bunch of nukes and had shit on lockdown
 Okay we're past our time limit, Snake!
 Colonel Campbell said I had to infiltrate
 Before they started nuclear conflicts
 What a bunch of jerks!
 You're a bag of dicks
 I climbed through an air vent and saved two guys
 They shared top secrets and suddenly died
 Of two heart attacks right out of thin air
 All within five minutes!
 Oh my god, I don't care!
 Then I met Meryl, a hot box of rocks
 And I fought a gunslinger named Ocelot
 But a cyborg ninja cut his hand away
 You know, normal shit that happens every day
 Listen Snake, there must have been a mistake
 On this show you've got to get right to the point of the game
 Like the ship from Galaga
 Hi, I shoot stuff in space
 And this car from Pole Position
 I'm a car!
 That's great!
 You know we've been through this before with your boy Cloud Strife
 And he talked too long I contemplated ending my life
 So let's keep things nice and simple like the hero over there
 From the Atari game Adventure
 I'm literally just a yellow square!
 Who cares
 I tried really hard to find a mech named Rex
 And the ninja came back in the mix like Chex
 It was Grey Fox and I fought Vulcan Raven
 A big motherfuckin' Alaskan shaman
 So I killed that guy but before he died
 He said Meryl liked me, I almost cried
 She's a little hottie pants, ooh-meow!
 It would be so great if you died right now
 I killed Sniper Wolf who was absurdly hot
 And then murdered three guys and an evil robot
 'Til Liquid Snake and I were left alone
 He said that I was his brother and a superior clone
 Then he died of a virus and thinking fast
 Meryl saved us
 I don't give a frog's fat ass
 Then when stayed together until the seven year itch
 And now you know the simple plot of Metal Gear bitch!
 Listen Snake I've taken all I can take
 Just because your game is simple doesn't mean that it's lame
 Tell the kid from Paperboy
 Yo, I deliver those papes!
 The guy from Elevator Action
 Uh, elevators?
 Okay!
 Dear God
 Why can't I just have a single panel of guests
 Who can say their plots in forty fuckin' minutes or less
 Now just watch me sneaker boy you'll make me reach for my gun
 I'll summarize your game and show you how this shit is really motherfuckin' done!
 How it's motherfuckin' done!
 "You sneak around and save the world. The End."
 My god, can I get a replacement guest with a simple plot please?
 Hi, I'm Sora from Kingdom Hearts!
 Nooooooooooo!