The Antler Pile

In Scarlet Town where Barbara Allen killed herself
 A golden arm is tarnishing upon a shelf
 It holds a glass and raises it to Barbara's health
 It's the 4th of July, yet
 The cuckoo is quiet
 The Captain is wrapped in his rat-skin rags
 The river is jammed up with cats in bags
 Me, I pledge alligators to the flag–
 It's thinner than gauze
 And spangled with moths
 I've got all the answers to your questions, my lass:
 Yes, No, Yes, Yes, No...
 And Don't Ask
 The sailors empty vessels in the dingy bar
 And pass around a sabre-toothed scimitar
 The Captain's on the antler pile gettin' carved
 While the lighthouse spins
 Like it's lit with gin
 A double-agent drinks a dram of muscatel
 While dreaming up a secret plan that he can sell
 A sniper on the tree-top aims a musket well
 Ba-BOOM, and it's done
 By a baboon with a gun
 I've got all the answers to your questions, my lass:
 Yes, No, Yes, Yes, No...
 And Don't Ask
 My pops used to say it a lot
 But I never say it too often:
 "The hardest man will soften
 Betwixt the handles of his coffin"
 I've got all the answers to your questions, my lass:
 Yes, No, Yes, Yes, No...
 And Don't Ask
 A strangler is loose & folks are frantic
 The hearses he has filled are choking traffic
 While hiding out he'll tidy up your attic
 With the duster he made
 From your grandmother's braids
 Before you croak there's something that you ought to know
 The afterlife is hot no matter where you go
 For Hell is roasting Heaven, slowly, from below
 I've seen it all from the window
 Of my villa in Limbo...
 I've got all the answers to your questions, my lass:
 Yes, No, Yes, Yes, No...
 Oh...
 Oh...
 Oh...
 And Don't Ask