The Windy, Windy Night

The wild dog fetches grenades
 The drunken wraith wretches & fades
 A schoolgirl twirls in the wheat field
 Until a combine catches her braids
 The princess picks nits off her lace
 And gives her wrist a little spritz of mace
 Cupid's so low that he loads up a bow
 And he shoots himself full in the face
 My mother was a half-wit whore
 She left me at her own front door
 My father was a deacon who would often wake up reekin'
 Of the sins he had condemned the day before
 If I hear you've been romancing Miss Ruth
 I'm gonna cut you with a cancerous tooth
 But first I'll hitch you up to a hell-bitch nag
 And let her drag you half the way to Duluth
 If I catch you trying to make Miss Trish
 I'm gonna drop you in the lake, ker-splish
 But first I'll lash bricks to your hands and your knees
 So you can crawl into bed with the fish
 The mentalist straightens his spine
 While his Rubenesque apprentice bends his mind
 The two of them ride through the windy, windy night
 On a levitated elevated line
 Now I'm off to meet a marvelous wench
 I found her name & number carved in a bench
 I wouldn't mind at all if you're hot to join the ball
 But if you're not, please pardon my French...