Kristine

You were hot as hell on the first date
 I was nervous because I don't like airports
 Wrong way on the freeway
 We ended up in downtown Chicago
 I could never leave, I would rather be
 Stuck inside a bus without a reason
 You could rob me once, just like the black guy
 With the bad heart that fucked me over
 You had a hard fall on the driveway
 We ended up right back in the snow bank
 I guess I'm going to learn the hard way
 How to fit in those pink pajamas
 When I opened the door and farted, you just laughed and laughed
 Don't ever leave me broken-hearted if you ever decide to leave
 When I burped in your mouth on the french kiss, you just laughed and laughed
 Don't ever tell your dad that we practiced how to shake his hand about a thousand times
 I can't believe that I ever really found you
 I don't know how I'll ever going to tell you
 Every time that I try to write a love note
 It always ends up sounding like a fart joke
 I can't believe that I ever really found you
 I don't know when or if I'll ever get to tell you
 About the cake that you baked you thought looked crappy
 Who needs a birthday when you're happy
 I can't believe that I ever really found you
 I can't say that I think that I deserve you
 You give my heart a giant fucking boner
 I want to share it with you when we're older
 Kristine Marie, you're the best thing to happen to me