Me PSP

I've got a confession to make, for a man of my age
 Now young lads play with it all the time
 They think its all the rage
 They do it in their bedrooms
 When their mum and dads in bed
 Grown men like me shouldn't do it
 Coz we've got wives instead
 I've tried talking to the wife
 But she doesn't understand
 The pleasure that it gives me
 When I hold it in me hand
 The longer you play wi' it
 The more its gets hard
 Especially when you've got no memory on yer memory card
 I'm talking about my PlayStation PSP of course
 Dirty, inquisitive minds
 Oh it started one day
 I got a bonus from work
 Two hundred pounds
 Oh, the wife she went bezerk
 'Cos she sent me down to B & Q
 To go and buy some shelves
 But I spent the cash in Gamestation
 And she played merry hell
 Yer see I bought meself a PSP
 Wi' a couple of great games
 And ever since I bought it
 Life hasn't been the same
 And the wife wants me to do the gutters
 It'd only take a day
 But instead I'm wasting all me time
 Playing GTA
 Oh me PSP
 Me PSP
 It really is fantastic
 It is the one for me
 I'm glad I saw it in a shop
 Just sitting on a shelf
 'Cos now I get so much pleasure
 Playing with meself
 I've tried talking to the wifeBut she doesn't understand
 The pleasure that it gives me
 When I hold it in me hand
 The longer I play wi' it
 The more it gets hard
 Especially when you've got no memory
 On yer memory card
 I've been playing that Tomb Raider
 Have you seen the size of the levels on that game?
 Huge
 Well, the wife is getting fed up now
 I never come to bed
 I just sit on the sofa
 And play FIFA instead
 She puts on sexy underwear
 Gives me come to bed eyes
 But the kid down't road I've got to beat him
 He's onto level five
 Oh me PSP
 Me PSP
 It really is fantastic
 It is the one for me
 I'm glad I saw it in a shop
 Just sitting on a shelf
 'Cos now I get so much pleasure
 Playing with meself
 I've tried talking to the wifeBut she doesn't understand
 The pleasure it gives me
 When I hold it in me hand
 The longer I play wi' it
 The more it gets hard
 Especially when you've got no memory
 On yer memory card
 Left, left, left, why won't it go left Jean?
 I'm pressing it, it's not going left here Jean
 And so one night when me and't wife
 Were cozy lay in bed
 She whispered softly in my ear
 And this is what she said
 "Darling I've been thinking
 About our bedroom fun
 And the pleasure that you get
 By moving just your thumb
 So I've bought myself a present
 To keep me entertained
 I'll confess that it takes batteries
 And I'm sure you won't complain
 I couldn't think of what she'd bought
 But I didn't have to guess
 Coz right then she pulled it out
 A Nintendo DS
 I've tried talking to the wife
 And now she understands
 The pleasure it gives her
 When she holds it in her hand
 The longer she plays wi' it
 The more it gets hard
 Especially when she's got no memory
 On her memory card
 Right if I hit Square, Circle, Triangle, down,
 down, up, down, up- that's got him, that's got him Jean
 Killed him