Perks of the Job

This one's going out to anyone who's in a job they
 Don't like, ladies and gentlemen, and that's all of us
 If you're lucky enough these days to be employed
 There's lots of ways the company gets you annoyed
 They change your hours and your shifts, you get so downhearted
 You've not had a pay rise since you started
 If you don't like it, the firm'll give you the sack
 But did you know there's a way you can get your own back?
 You're dignity's been robbed but nobody cares
 So what you've got fer do is steal something of theirs
 It's called the perks of the job
 I'm at work and I'm on the rob
 I'm gonna take whatever I can fit in my pocket
 To make me feel better and they just can't stop it
 I'll be stuck in this job till I reach my old age
 Wouldn't do it if they paid me a decent wage
 Until they do, I'm gonna go to town
 And help meself to anything that's not nailed down
 Revenge against the company, it tastes delicious
 But don't take too much too soon or they're gonna get suspicious
 Stuff that people wont miss, or there'll be tears
 I've not bought paper for me printer for about three years
 Don't be cocky and put a laptop up your sleeve
 Just a little bit of something every time you leave
 An envelope a day that'll never be missed
 There's more stationery in our house than WH Smiths
 It's called the perks of the job
 I'm at work and I'm on the rob
 I'm gonna take whatever I can fit in my pocket
 To make me feel better and they just can't stop it
 I'll be stuck in this job till I reach my old age
 I wouldn't do it if they paid me a decent wage
 And until they do, I'm gonna go to town
 And help meself to anything that's not nailed down
 If the thought of stealing sends you out of your mind
 There's others ways of getting your benefits in kind
 Use the work phone to call your mate in Timbuktu
 Or a hour on your Facebook page will do
 Now here's a top tip from me workmate Shirley
 An excuse to give your boss, if you wanna leave early
 You've got to go 'cause your kid's developed a terrible cough
 Either that or say your shed roofs been blown off
 It's called the perks of the job
 I'm at work and I'm on the rob
 I'm gonna take whatever I can fit in my pocket
 To make me feel better and they just can't stop it
 I'll be stuck in this job till I reach my old age
 I wouldn't do it if they paid me a decent wage
 And until they do, I'm gonna go to town
 And help meself to anything that's not nailed down
 It's called the perks of the job
 I'm at work and I'm on the rob
 I'm gonna take whatever I can fit in my pocket
 To make me feel better and they just can't stop it
 I'll be stuck in this job till I reach my old age
 I wouldn't do it if they paid me a decent wage
 And until they do, I'm gonna go to town
 And help meself to anything that's not nailed down