Threw It On The Ground

I was walkin' through the city streets
 And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink
 Run faster, jump higher
 Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me
 I threw it on the ground
 You must think I'm a joke
 I ain't gonna be part of your system, man!
 Pump that garbage in another man's veins
 I go to my favorite hot dog stand
 And the dude says, "You come here all the time! Here's one for free"
 I said, "Man, what I look like? A charity case?"
 I took it, and threw it on the ground!
 I don't need your handouts
 I'm an adult
 Please
 You can't buy me, hot dog man!
 At the farmers market with my so-called girlfriend
 She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad
 Man, this ain't my dad
 This is a cell phone
 I threw it on the ground!
 What, you think I'm stupid?
 I'm not a part of your system
 My dad's not a phone
 Duh!
 Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party
 Whatchu want me to do with this? Eat it?
 Happy birthday to the ground!
 I threw the rest of the cake, too
 Welcome to the real world, jackass!
 So many things to throw on the ground
 Like this, and this, and that, and even this
 I'm an adult!
 Two Hollywood phonies tried to give me their autograph
 Ground!
 Nobody wants your autograph, phonies
 Then the two phonies got up
 Turned out they had a taser
 And they tased me in the butthole
 I fell to the ground
 The phonies didn't let up
 Tasin' on my butthole over and over
 I was screamin' and squirmin'
 My butthole was on fire
 The moral of the story is
 You can't trust the system
 Man