The Worst Sideshow Ever

The bearded lady is a man in a dress
 Docker's arms and a stubbly chest
 The dog faced boy is a puppy in a pram
 The astounding blob a slightly overweight man
 The giant is a bloke standing on a box
 Wearing a really long coat
 The push me-pull you is a stag's head
 Strapped to the arse of a goat
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 Have you ever seen a worse one?
 NEVER!
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 The collection of pickled punks floating in their jars
 Well it's just pickled gherkins with fake eyes and ears
 A girl with a built up shoe
 She wandered in one day
 They told her she was a natural
 And persuaded her to stay
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 Have you ever seen a worse one?
 NEVER!
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 The ex military amputee
 He lost both legs below the knee
 He uses his stumps for cricket
 Calls himself the human wicket
 (How's that?!)
 Lady caterpillar is a girl in a sleeping bag
 She looks so bored as she wriggles round the floor
 It makes me aaaghh aaaaghh AAAAGHHH
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 Have you ever seen a worse one?
 NEVER!
 It's the worst sideshow ever
 The worst sideshow ever
 A total waste of cash
 The worst sideshow ever
 Demand your money back!