He's My Brother-In-Law

Well, he comes over to the house in a three day beard
 Sleeps on the couch, makes the place smell weird
 He's on something and it damn sure ain't the job
 He scares the kids, stays on the phone
 He's got a car somewhere for me to co-sign on
 He's been disowned and his wife's run off with Bob
 She finally told him he wasn't worth a damn
 He tries to blame it all on Vietnam
 But he wasn't there, he was twelve in seventy-four
 And he's got a bad back and a messy divorce
 He's got a workman's comp. case tied up in court
 He can't move and I can sure vouch for that
 CHORUS
 He's my brother-in-law
 He's from Arkansas
 Lord, the best man at my wedding and the worst I ever saw
 He's living off of me
 He's the baby of the family
 My wife won't let me shoot him cause he's my brother-in-law
 Everyday he smokes four packs of menthols
 Makes about eight more long distance calls
 Snorts alcohol
 Talks like Dusty Rhodes
 And he'll go through your wallet with a fine tooth comb
 And eat your family out of house and home
 He'll cuss out your preacher and stop up your commode
 CHORUS
 He's my brother-in-law
 He's got nothing on the ball
 The kind of man who would rob from Peter and write a bad check to Paul
 He's gotten out of hand
 He oughta be a congressman
 He's the kinda fella that I can't stand and he's my brother-in-law
 Oh, he's the generic brand and he's my brother-in-lawwwwwwwww