Why Do Fat Kids Like Metallica?

Fat kids need James Hetfield.
 Fat kids need Lars Ulrich and Kirk Hammet.
 Fat kids, they need Jason Newstead.
 Cliff Burton is dead.
 I had a friend, he was a heavy metal singer.
 He did a good impersonation of Kip Winger.
 And this guy, he was a very hefty fellow.
 Ate cans of Crisco and washed it down with Mello-Yello
 Why do fat Kids like Metallica?
 Why do they, why do they?
 Why do Fat Kids like Metallica?
 Why do Skinny pricks like Green Day?
 Look at the fat kid with the Metallica shirt on.
 I bet he wears a extra extra large.
 But as for me my opinion is biased,
 Cause I spend my time watching "Charles in Charge"(Scott Baio)
 James Hetfield, he used to be a really fat kid.
 And then he started Metallica
 So Jenny Craig you can burn in Hell.
 With metal up your ass.