White Curtains

Torn between
 Being a child my whole life or the man you need
 'Cause there's the easy way out
 And there's blood, sweat and tears
 And I'll be gone more than I'm home for the next year
 And it'll take everything I have
 To not stop running
 You said it's never black and white with me
 Just lesser truths and shades of grey
 What the fuck did you see in me anyway?
 An investment never worth the price you paid
 For what it's worth I feel the strain
 But I'm too fucking scared of doing the right thing
 I'll never find it in myself to let someone love you properly
 If I saved up the hours that I've spent just drowning
 Starting out at the empty space from my side of the bed
 Well, I'd tread them all and the pictures drawn
 In the condensation on my window
 To see you standing there
 Lie to me,
 Tell me you still need me 'cause I owe that charade
 For the only reason I found sleep in the past three years
 And I owe that charade
 For the distance I keep between me and who I used to be
 Torn between
 Being a child my whole life or the man you need
 Torn between
 Being a child my whole life or the man you need
 If I saved up the hours that I've spent just drowning
 Starting out at the empty space from my side of the bed
 Well, I'd tread them all and the pictures drawn
 In the condensation on my window
 To see you standing there
 There's no shortage of new faces
 And so many places I've never been
 But the one place I keep in my head
 Is where the sun shines through your white curtains
 And the breeze that lifts them off the wall and gently wakes me to the world
 To an overwhelming familiar smell of home
 But I can't be there for long
 And I never wanted to be the one that only lets you down
 And a promise that I can keep is my two feet won't find the ground
 But your heart can't see the damage done when I'm around.