Shedding The Deadwood

It's no wonder I've felt so tired
 I've witnessed the careless, all running past me
 While I've been told to ignore my desires
 And grow numb with understanding
 I walk through these woods
 I carry this deadwood
 I am determined to see this through
 Driven only by the guilt and the shame of giving up
 I must complete what I set out to do for you
 It stayed on a shelf made of my arms
 They had grown strong from giving support
 I knew that my arms could hold out forever
 It was my mind that grow tired
 (And in time would let go)
 It's been so long, since I have questioned
 What it is that I really want?
 Instead, I follow your directions
 As you lead me on
 I can't use it to build my home
 It will not fulfill my desires
 Some wood can be used to help build a life
 This wood will be used for building a fire
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 Why carry this deadwood with me?
 When where I'm going, there will be living trees
 Now close enough to carry it all to the end
 But throwing it all to the ground instead
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 This bundle of deadwood
 The pieces they fall
 Corners indent the soil and accumulate on one another
 Tumble down and pile up
 It awkwardly spills, like myself at a time
 Like the time it had killed
 Like every moment after, it was collected and held
 I'd give up all that I started
 To pursue all that I wanted
 I may arrive empty-handed
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 But at least I will arrive