Fixer Upper

Hello there! I got a letter in the post
 Addressed to the previous owner
 I don't know how to pronounce their name
 I don't think they were from round here, you know
 Well, I just moved into the area, yeah
 That big old thing over the road
 It's a fixer upper though, it's a fixer upper so
 We're gonna put poundshop terracotta frogs everywhere
 And wrap solar power fairy lights round the gutter
 I got a prosecco o'clock poster half price in Ikea
 It goes nicely with the existential fear that I feel
 When I accidentally wonder
 What I'm really doing here
 And how long I've got left before I'm six feet under
 I can't believe I'm a two homeowner
 (Finally!) Can't believe I'm a two homeowner
 I've finally got a nice little drive to call my own
 I got off street parking for the rover
 It's a fixer upper though, yeah, no, not the rover, the rover's golden
 I'm talking about that big old thing over the road
 Yeah that big old thing over the road!
 We're gonna knock through the kitchen wall though
 Even though it's grade two Tudor architecture
 But we're gonna absolutely ruin it
 All alright? We can't stand old shite!
 It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper!
 It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper!
 Anyway, this letter, I'll just post it back 'return to sender'
 Unless you know him, I think...
 I think he's called Mr. J Konopinski...?
 Oh no wait, that's not an M that's a D
 Dr J. Konopinski, do you know him?
 Sounds a bit Russian to me... Oh! Polish, I see
 And he had a PhD did he? What in?
 Probably one of those pointless media degrees, not for me
 University of life ya see, I got thick skin
 School of hard knocks, gonna knock through that wall on Tuesday
 Just in case you or the wife are gonna be in
 It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper!
 It's a fixer upper! It's a fixer upper!
 Alright mate, sorry about the commotion yesterday
 The bloody builders are refusing to finish the job until I pay 'em
 But I told 'em, no one pulls a fast one on Graham
 I'm Graham by the way, don't know if I mentioned
 I told 'em, I'm not made of money, you're having a laugh
 Two homes and a rover, comes from hard graft
 I'm not minted, I earnt it
 It's not some funny voodoo business
 I didn't walk on gilded splinters
 To make the dent I did in under a year
 I earnt it, In case you're wondering
 And as for the builders...
 Yeah they're Polish
 I'm not bothered about that like
 But where you come from, it says a lot about a man
 And I'm not from round here, but I am
 Also they won't take cash in hand
 What's with that? Maybe they wouldn't need the money so bloody fast
 If they weren't willingly giving it all to the tax man
 You take what you can get where I'm from
 And I'm not from round here, but I am
 I'm Graham by the way
 (Hey Graham)
 I'm Graham
 I'm Graham