Call Your Mother

Call your mother, she is getting worried
 She has not heard from you
 Tell her you love her
 Just don't tell her everything you do
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 Don't tell her 'bout how scared you were
 When you were driving home through the snow
 Don't tell her 'bout the older man you're getting to know
 Don't tell her 'bout all the drinks you had
 And all the exercise you're not getting
 And maybe leave out the part about the birth control
 You keep forgetting
 Don't tell her 'bout the things you said
 To cool Susset, to get her in your bed
 Don't tell her 'bout the drugs that you tried to steal
 Tell her 'bout the way they made you feel
 Call your mother, she is getting worried
 She has not heard from you
 Tell her you love her
 Just don't tell her everything you do
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 Don't tell her 'bout how much it burns you
 Sometimes when you pee
 Don't tell her 'bout your nitrous epiphany
 Don't tell her 'bout the morning after
 The wake and bake laughter
 Your pennies in the rafter
 Drinking in the mid-day, everyday is my birthday
 Now we're stumbling down the hallway
 Humping in the driveway
 Don't tell her 'bout the things you said
 To cool Susset to get her in your bed
 Don't tell her 'bout the threesome that you had in the field
 But tell her 'bout the way it made you feel
 Call you mother she is getting worried
 She has not heard from you
 Tell her you love her
 Just don't tell her everything you do
 Tell her you love her
 Just don't tell her everything you do
 Call your father too
 Tell me what to do