Who Needs a Boy?

Some boys will bring you flowers
 Some will even serenade
 But you and me will while away the hours
 Just a-dishing and a-throwing shade
 Forever side by side
 Through snark and snide
 I'm stuck to you like glue
 So honey, who needs, who needs a boy? When I got you
 
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 When life's losers and clowns start gettin' ya down
 I'll be there to share your cunning glare (ha!)
 And when the stink of the world makes you just wanna hurl
 You can count on me to hold your hair
 'Cause when it comes to hate, I've found the perfect mate
 And baby, no one else will do
 So tell me, who needs, who needs a boy? When I got you
 And I never expect you to hold me tight and lock me in your lovin' gaze
 But I know I'll have a shoulder to cry on
 That's if I were inclined to such pathetic displays
 Guys may come and guys may go
 And we'll size 'em up in half a glance
 Say Maury, these kids got some chemistry
 Nope, she'll never get into his pants, sorry
 Maybe some day we'll find true love
 And drift apart like friends will do
 But 'til then
 Who needs a boy?
 Some moron that soon will annoy
 I ask ya, who needs a boy? When I got you!