New Low

It took so long to bring this to the surface
 I can't pretend to feel at peace anymore
 Removal from everything
 This crusade of doubt I've waged
 Will never replace the mistakes I've made
 So every time you look my way, a forced smile is all you see
 I'll avoid conversation
 Every time you ask me how I've been, I'll say what you want to hear
 Half-heartedly concerned and insincere
 No longer plagued with the fear of dying young
 A culture bred to turn away, I know I'm not the only one
 Over and over I pray for release
 from disbelief and the urge to hide away
 If this is all I can be, the wind between Your trees
 Then carry me away
 The new low's in love with me
 So every time you look my way, a forced smile is all you see
 I'll avoid conversation
 Every time you ask me how I've been, I'll say what you want to hear
 Half-heartedly concerned and insincere