Adam vs Eve

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
 ADAM VS EVE
 BEGIN!
 This battles gonna end like every arguement does,
 with you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub,
 I made a map mother fucker and im reading it too,
 gives me specific directions how to fuck with you,
 I know that you like to think you're so macho but you smell like ball sacks and nachos,
 I work while you and your boyfriend Steve drink and play sports in a fantasy league,
 You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips,
 so go ahead take a shot I'm sure that you'll miss
 like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list,
 if you'd stop fucking up i wouldn't have to get pissed.
 My life was fine 'til you had to come along and wreck it,
 could you please just shut your face for 10 seconds,
 you cry about everything cause you can't decide what you want,
 I'm hungry, I'm fat, I'm cold, I'm hot,
 you call it a complex but yo I'd call you a mess,
 you take two hours to cum,
 Three more to get dressed,
 you got a lotion for this you got a cream for that,
 got any perfume that smells like get the fuck off my back?
 when things are good they're great and it's like I'm dreaming,
 until your junk starts bleeding and you turn to a demon
 it ain't Summer Eve don't try to play me like a douche,
 you wanna bite on my fruit well you can swallow the truth.
 Don't even bring up swallow,
 the first man on earth ain't a tough act to follow
 one pump chump and you're hung like a weasel
 Ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle,
 you want alone time? have it, in fact
 Suck your own dick and
 shave your own back
 the apple's the best thing I've bit so far,
 now I see how much of a dick you are.
 I wasn't listening are you still flapping those lips?
 I was just thinking yo did I give up a rib for this?
 woman I just dont know what your problem is,
 all I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch
 I'm sorry
 Im sorry too
 Alright nice
 Dont even think about it!
 ok that's fine we could eat
 WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
 EPIC (OH YEAH) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!