I Never Thought

I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this
 There's a girl with green teeth and she's gettin' kinda hard to resist
 There's a shot for me sittin on the stage,
 And tonight I'm feelin my age
 I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this
 I never thought I'd play on a tiny little stage like this
 We got good songs and I can't figure why they ain't hits
 I could get to first base on my looks
 If I could stand on telephone books
 I never thought I'd play on a tiny little stage like this
 I always thought I'd hitch up with a real pretty gal like you
 But I wound up with a shrew and she's always tellin me what to do
 I'd like to ask you for a date
 But I can't afford to get home late
 I guess I'll never hitch up with a real pretty gal like you
 I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this
 Every time we take a bow the audience starts to hiss
 I'd quit the band if I had the nerve
 But I guess I'm gettin' what I deserve
 I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this