Can You Do Me A Kindness?

I don't go outside as much as I used to
 I'm not home just in my house forgetting myself or at least trying to
 But not forgiving until I come back out
 I have a light on in my room during the day I hardly notice it
 But at night it keeps me from falling asleep
 I have this dream of knowing you, during the day I hardly notice it
 But at night it keeps me from all other dreams
 The numbing of time taught me how to finally fall asleep
 I just wish you'd come home and teach me how to wake back up
 This is torture, this is truth, this is unfamiliar pain
 This is following an ache but this is love
 There's a railroad track behind my house at night I can hear a freight being taken to retail
 But I'm still not sold on letting myself out
 I never knew it was cold until I knew how the heat felt
 You were always warm when put in one place
 But I was too shallow to contain the same flame
 There's a nicotine patch on my nightstand
 You never did quit, but at least you tried
 Or maybe you did but I never saw you lift a cigarette to your lips
 I was preoccupied looking into my reflection and the way you said you felt alive
 Your infection inflects the walls each night
 And the shades of colour are all black and white
 Just like your goodbye
 You said to stop letting your love consume my mind
 I never did quit, but at least you tried
 I don't go outside as much as I used to
 I'm not home, I'm just trying to sleep at night
 Forgetting your love or at least trying to
 You said goodbye, now just say goodnight