Curtsey for Me

Ladies, ladies, the eternal mystery
 through my history they've acted rather sisterly
 or they would tend to want to mother master B
 they were never after me and I never dastardly
 so I never got respect from the hoes
 too few yesses and too many no's
 I suppose if one's a gentleman as part of one job
 one can't make a lady have a go on one's
 Robert Mitchum was a lad and a bit of a cad
 but my attempts at that sort of thing were rather bad
 I'm glad though, I am, to be be a gentleman
 holding doors open and helping your gran
 across the road but never toadying
 it fills me with foreboding
 like posing in draylon and pensioner bling
 So I'm not a chap to take liberties
 but when once they would have scorned little B
 now they curtsey for me, curtsey for me
 when once upon a time they would have rather ignored me
 back in they day they were all nitpickers
 now they're up and down like a stripper's knickers
 Pop that front leg out
 and drop into a little bow
 that is how the ladies greet me now
 From saltburn to guildford
 they bend their knees in the most lady-like way
 In southend on sea they terrorise me
 but their obeisencey is a lovely display
 for now they.
 Curtsey for me, curtsey for me
 when once upon a time they might have rather ignored me
 I like bit of hogging
 when I'm in town dear
 bow your pretty noggin and while you're down there
 pop the front leg out
 and drop into a little bow
 that's how the ladies greet me now
 In Henley they bend knees
 In forest gate they prostrate
 In Guildford they make me feel good
 In Puckpool they... no.
 (trombone solo)
 In kensington bending down
 that's a sight to see
 truly I say!
 On hampstead heath
 skirts can be brief
 and then what's underneath can make a chap run away
 when they curtsey for me
 curtsey for me
 when once upon a time they would have rather ignored me
 back in they day they were all nitpickers
 now they're up and down like a stripper's knickers
 pop the front leg out
 and drop into a little bow
 that is how the ladies greet me now.