Timothy

I remember one jolly fresh start to the weekend
 The furrow in my fleshy firm brow was deepened
 When upon checking out some crucial electro
 I heard a voice that left me vexed, so
 It was a voice of an oaf of the lower caste
 But it reminded me of somebody from my past
 I said I've got it at last, this absolute arse
 Came bottom in our latin class
 Timothy St John Westwood, that was his name
 It's a shame his vocal chords have gone quite lame
 His enunciation is an utter disgrace
 He's dropping Ts and Rs all over the place
 This can't be that quiet vicar's son
 Who had awful trouble trying to pick a chum
 When the quick would run and leave him sickly glum
 Now he's talking in my radio about dropping bombs
 What ever happened to Timothy
 I was at prep with him you see
 We used to call him spaz
 Now he's on air chatting to Nas
 He was a whizz with a cricket bat
 But he never used to talk like that
 (Spoken)
 Understand! Westwood says, don't ride dirty, ride big!
 I nearly spilt my tea into my saucer
 When somebody called you the millennial Chaucer
 Of course you're not, that's my ruddy job!
 Your grammar's appaling and you sound like a guttersnipe street yob
 A bloody slob from (a peat bog) or some such place
 Where none such grace can be found
 Like the rhymes that I'm throwing down
 Well you're going round like a crowing clown
 Pimping rides for the dire murdies
 Well I'd think you would know my Morris is sturdy
 We both liked hip-hop, but isn't it strange
 That I've kept my accent, yet yours has changed
 Come now old bean, it's time to own up
 Say 'How do you do?' instead of 'What's up?'
 Your mother will be please and your father relieved
 But I'm afraid Lady Fanshawe will still be peeved
 What on earth happened to Timothy
 I was at prep with him you see
 He was about as hard as my grand mama
 Now he's friend with the Wu Tang Clan, bizarre
 He was a whizz with a cricket bat
 But he never used to talk like that
 (Spoken)
 It's your boy Westwood. Get your rims bling-blinging, then throw the smell-good inside
 What ever happened to Timothy
 I was at prep with him you see
 We used to call him spaz
 Now he's on air chatting to Nas
 He was a whizz with a cricket bat
 But he never used to talk like that
 What on earth happened to Timothy
 I was at prep with him you see
 He was about as hard as my grand mama
 Now he's friend with the Wu Tang Clan, bizarre
 He was a whizz with a cricket bat
 But he never used to talk like that
 He never used to talk like that
 That's right!