More Kissing in Porn Please, We're British

Now I am a man of the simplest of pleasures
 I'll read an erotic pamphlet of my leasure
 But never with anything else on my mind
 Then making the most of the passing of time
 I'm a romantic at heart as you know
 But I'm also starting to grow
 So I'll delve slightly deeper inside
 Until I find something that turns my insides
 The tide has turned, it seems
 When all of my dreams on amorous themes
 And holding hands have been dashed
 Long before the bishop's been bashed.
 The cash to be made from depravity,
 And filling bodily cavities in darkened lavatories
 Have replaced the seductive arts
 So a crusade I'm going to start:
 Why can't there be more kissing in porn
 Something here is rather missing or wrong
 Why can't there be more kissing in porn
 Where has all the romance gone?
 Now I like to think my doctrine is methodical
 I've flipped through pages of Anamata periodical
 I can see nothing to debunk
 "Good lord, that thing is the size of a tree trunk"
 My theory is simple enough
 A little more kissing
 A little less muff
 Is the start of a gentleman's
 Night timely dreams
 And not the extremes
 That are brought on these screams
 And these harlots and charlatans
 And g-strings and tan lines
 And from where this gentle-
 Man rhymes
 There's no sense of whimsy
 Their plots are so flimsy
 And ten seconds in it's just wall to wall mimsy
 It seems to me something must be done
 I don't want to see one single more rerun
 Of some rotter chuffing in some filly's face:
 I raise a petition and clean up the place!
 Why can't there be more kissing in porn
 All I can see is pissing and scorn
 Why can't there be more kissing in porn
 Where has all the romance gone?
 x6
 That's why I like kissing, in porn