Bells

I am sad and grateful
 I am lonely and rejoicing
 I ring the bells alone, I ring the bells for you
 Forgive me the impermanence of my joy
 And the permanence of my joy
 I am present in my truth
 Though you were right, I lost myself
 I abide in my discomfort
 And in everything you gave me
 I can try to hide from suffering
 But I know that won't save me
 I must count it all as joy
 I must let love be love in me
 I can be strong, I can be kind
 I can be good to myself and anyone who lets me
 Now I am simple, I am alone
 Like a pale flower floating on the surface
 Of the wide sea the world drives between all of our hearts
 The one you must navigate in order to love
 In trying to swim there but refusing to let go
 We weighed each other down and eventually we drowned
 We can speak the words of women and angels
 But without real love, it's just sad noise
 I can open my heart and let everything out
 But that won't save me - I'll just be empty
 I am raw and awed and frightened
 In the presence of my truth
 I am sitting with my fear
 I am reverent in its light
 I am starting where I am
 I move forward on my own
 And I ring the bells alone
 But with only you in mind