A Perfect World (Without You)

You think being a loveable nincompoop's meant anyone's missed you?
 Getting rid of you was the best thing anyone ever did for the planet.
 Prexit means prexit.
 Remember when England won the world cup every single year?
 Of course you don't 'cause you sir weren't flippin' here.
 And without you society's swept steam power to the side
 And then colonized Jupiter in 2005
 And daffodils grew three inches taller in your absence
 And Amazon Prime gave all their videos closed captions
 And there was no president 'cause The Apprentice hadn't happened
 And volcanoes gave out free yogurt instead of magma
 And every hotel started providing ten extra towels
 Elon Musk gave his kid a name with letters and vowels
 And far sexier people are wearing all your clothes
 And Jeffrey's fine swinging through the air in Borneo
 And now the world effervesces as it turns
 I deleted the East India Trading Company (it got what it deserved)
 And you can spill tea guilt free and get it on your shirt
 Demand's fifty percent lower now you've exited dirt
 You see it's better and it works
 Sure my methods are perverse
 But I checked and everyone attests Elemental was a curse
 You see it's better and it works
 When I set it in reverse
 Everything was going pleasant before this fellow had emerged
 You ruined a perfect world just by being born
 You ruined a perfect world just by being born
 You ruined a perfect world just by being born
 And all decisions since then have just made everything around you bad
 We domesticated the duck-billed platypus
 People took them for walks and they kept them in the flat and stuff
 Oh that's before you donned your time travel troons and swaggered up
 Do you not see what your arrogance has nabbed from us?
 Think of Jeffrey's freedom before his subservience
 Think about when your own future grandson tried to murder you
 Think of how fun and cooperative European international relations were
 Before your one-man invasion of Serbia
 You were not his embarred king of Brunel
 I asked everyone in the world and they think that you smell
 Since you've been gone everything has been just swell
 You've been gone twenty thousand years and nobody can even tell
 Poverty? Collapsed in days
 Inequality? Smashed it, mate
 You took your merch with you, thus eradicating plastic waste
 We've been having a right old knees up in your absent days
 So bugger off back to space (also dogs have wings now)
 You see it's better and it works
 Sure my methods are perverse
 But I checked and everyone attests Elemental was a curse
 You see it's better and it works
 When I set it in reverse
 Everything was going pleasant before this fellow had emerged
 Oh, it brings a tear to me eye just thinking about it
 Ah, it was just so splendid without you