Loathe Thy Neighbor

Picture an elderly lady peeking through her blinds
 You wave her a friendly hello
 While she glares with judging eyes
 Her glasses held by chails on pointy 1960's frames
 They help her see your faults
 As she's squinting with disdain
 A retired English teacher with an overwhelming fragrance
 Still alive too stubborn to die
 And death don't have the patience
 She has more cats than children by an order of magnitude
 And when ever she loses at bingo
 She takes it out on you
 Calls the cops on her rotary phone
 Every time you try to mow the lawn
 Close your blinds lock your doors
 I mind my business now you mind yours
 Keep to yourself and stay off my grass
 Now get off my porch and get off my ass
 Get off my ass go back inside
 Stay in your home leave me alone
 Imagine a jerk in his 40's
 In front of the broke down house that he rents
 Not all that bright chugging Natural Light
 Flicking ciggarette butts over your fence
 Screaming all day at his beat up truck
 That he always fails to repair
 More stains on his shirt than teeth in his mouth
 And he doesn't seem to care
 A former high school quarterback
 With delusions of long past glory
 Blasts 80's crap from his Pontiac
 As he tells you his whole life story
 He parks and blocks my driveway then
 Dumps his cup of tobacco spit
 Setting fireworks of after midnight?
 I'm about to lose my SHHH-... temper.
 Mows his lawn at 2 a.m.
 He likes me but I hate him
 Deadbeat dad he doesn't pay child support
 Looks like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
 Close your blinds lock your doors
 I mind my business now you mind yours
 Keep to yourself and stay off my grass
 Now get off my porch and get off my ass
 We all hate the HOA
 All the homes they look the same
 The mortage states the house belongs to me
 You need to chill the fuck out and get off my property
 Some are so friendly but some of them are enemies
 Makes me neurotic and keeps me on guard
 Battling those neighbors with tolerant diplomacy
 Tempts me to pour bleach on their yard
 I pour bleach on your yard
 I spelled "BITCH" on your lawn
 That's right FUCK your grass
 Loathe thy neighbor