Toes

I've had eight hundred fifty seven lovers
 And you're certainly the greatest of them all
 You make me more than whimper like no other
 You take me on the floor and off the wall
 You're like an acrobat from poon tang circus
 I've never even seen you wearing clothes
 There's just one thing I need to make it perfect
 Come, wrap your arms around me, listen close
 Don't lick my toes
 It's disgusting and disturbing
 It's upsetting and unnerving
 All the things you could be perving on
 Why must you choosing toes?
 I'm not a prude
 I don't mind kinky hanky panky
 You can pee on me or spank me
 With a second hand umbrella
 But you'd better listen, fella
 I should tell you right from hello
 There's no way I'll let you tongue the yellow pustulating sores and blisters in between my toes
 Don't lick my toes
 It's repulsive and I hate it
 It's completely overrated
 I don't know if I can state it any clearer
 Come no nearer
 Oh do you hear, oh maybe you're some kind of idiot or something
 I don't know!
 Don't lick my toes
 I know you've seen it in the pornos
 You don't see me licking your toes
 Maybe this should be some kind of indication to you that maybe it's not something I'm into
 It doesn't make me feel sexy
 I don't even feel like living when this sort of thing starts to happen to me
 You know what it feels like?
 It feels like being flossed with warm liver, you know
 Or stepping in something in the night!
 You're expectant and erect
 And all I think is disinfectant
 Mouthwash won't disguise the scent of all the fungus and the sweat
 And all the filthy streets I've walked upon
 The stench inside my socks
 Upon he grave of my grandmother
 Won't you please just find another way to show me your urbanity
 And stop with this insanity!
 The door is shut
 The way is closed
 What don't you get?
 I think it's gross
 I'm indisposed!
 Don't lick my toes
 (Lick my toes)