Cracked

The callus left by years of steady self-destruction
 Has finally dried and cracked like thinnest clay
 The irritation pours out from repression
 These are the things I thought I threw away
 Strange how you cannot change when you want
 But see that I am no chameleon here
 So all of this comes back to who I was
 Before the wind had blown away my fear
 No matter what you do to avoid them
 Your past and problems will not wander off
 And like a boulder on the path to self-corruption
 The light between the cracks is not enough
 You call unto the walls that you construed
 The walls that break my shattered body's fall
 You cannot undermine what I am feeling
 The only thing I want is to feel nothing at all
 Digging in your lithosphere
 Why aren't all the answers here?
 Physical life is a trap
 I can make you disappear
 The scar of harsh rejection opens wide
 It's been so long and here is comfort cold
 The ones who summon noble introspection
 Are now like famished wolves with flesh to hold
 And only once did everything subside
 Perhaps it was my one and only taste
 Of life through eyes of nobody defined
 Pull more and more till winter comes and I have been erased
 And so am I, so here am I