Blooms

This will forever be an apology
 Cause I know somehow it will set me free
 I can't hold onto the self-abuse. It's not your fault
 I missed my chance to bloom
 Everything fades away
 We're going to meet the same fate
 Even if you grow old or die alone
 What difference will it make?
 I'm obsolete (I'm obsolete)
 So easy to replace
 I won't deserve a chance at happiness living this way
 Just another line about the better days
 Finding peace in what you had
 I tell myself one day I'll reminisce and say:
 "Things really weren't so bad"
 But I still can't seem to let go
 So I'm the only one to blame for my bleak view on life
 Left all alone in the mundane
 But I know you know what it feels like kid
 You once loved so much but hate yourself for what you did
 So I'll cry for help to find myself in everyone else
 That's not that the person you thought you'd be
 Fade away, fade away
 We'll going to meet the same fate
 Even if you grow old or die alone
 What difference will it make?
 I'm obsolete (I'm obsolete)
 So easy to replace
 I won't deserve a chance at happiness living this way
 It's constant heartache to face the world time after time
 When you only have so much of it, I feel my life just slip by
 Is this all even real?
 Is there something more to this?
 All those moments we'll miss when were knocked back into the abyss
 Would someone just give me a purpose to have
 Cause my past can't be the best thing that ever happened to me
 This sadness just won't stop defining me
 I lost my chance to leave to a promised land, to feel whole again
 Excerpt: "I think about mortality continually.
 I won't say constantly, but every day. And so,
 Watching ourselves die is to me overwhelming evidence that there is
 No life after death. And the troubling,
 Troubling consequence of this is you don't have
 To be perfect, you just have to be good enough."
 Well there's nothing left to see
 But an empty, worthless shell of a man
 And there's nothing to be proud of, I'll never know who I am
 And with all those late-night thoughts
 Knowing in the back of my head, I'll never see you again
 And the older that I get
 The more surprised I'll fucking be I haven't ended it all yet