Worried

Am I afraid?
 They say I look lonely, a permanent face painted on me
 Always struggling in my decay
 So did I do something wrong?
 Or was it all my fault that I've been put down all my life
 And lost all hope
 Don't tell me again how these hardships we face are all for the best
 It has to be this way
 I woke up from a dream, but never where I want to be
 I look in the mirror, I'm not proud of what I see
 Could never find any comfort in my own skin
 Standing on this ledge with all my selfish intentions
 I'm so sick of feeling my heart beat
 Contentment comes with a sacrifice I'm not willing to make
 'Cause there's a part of me that hates to feel me smiling
 Am I too far gone?
 With all the self doubt, I'm just so worried
 I'm just so worried
 I'm worried
 Are you listening to my words?
 Am I wasting air? (Am I wasting air?)
 It's not as simple as you made it out to be
 I panic and panic, poor melancholy me
 I'm only an image of what I want to be
 So why did I grow up to hate what I see?
 Just know now if I could somehow I'd trade it all
 'Cause I'm so sick of feeling my heart beat
 Contentment comes with a sacrifice I'm not willing to make
 'Cause there's a part of me that hates to feel me smiling
 Am I too far gone?
 With all the self doubt, I'm just so worried
 I'm just so worried
 I'm worried
 ♪
 Because everyday, it's all so routine
 That I live with all the things I fucking hate about me
 I've been numb for so long, I'd be better off gone
 So scared to die, but that's all I really want
 And do you feel the shame in the words that ring true?
 "You never did all the things you really wanted to do"
 Regret every choice I've made up to this point
 It's never been an option, I can't do anything right
 It's useless to ask what this life is all for
 If we found out the answers, we'd still want more
 I just wish I had something to live for
 I just wish I had something to live