The Wrong Sense

Some things one just can't accept out of my mind
 I just can't get this off my chest
 I've been walking a fine line between this life and death
 'Cause it isn't enough for me
 I wanna rest with the fucking obsession seething
 I'm infected but the rest don't see me in a better perception
 I wonder if I'll ever be worth the remembrance
 Our remnants of memories fade away
 I look around and wonder if I'll ever manage to say
 That we have always portrayed a sense of elation
 Just to be a withering case of loss and frustrations
 Riddled with a splintering hate for all that we've made
 I just wanna take out my gun and pick out my grave
 I feel like I'm the conflict and the resolution is a coffin
 So I just might choose this as I
 Poison my blood and blackout my lungs
 I'm used to always feeling disgust, it's love and it's lust
 For everything that seeps into cuts and fractures me numb
 It never ends up being enough
 It's never enough to ease the fucking stress
 Over the things that'll lead me to my end
 There's a handful of songs about death stuck in my head
 And I'll sing 'em on repeat for wrongs I've caused
 This dread is a head full of hatred for everybody
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 I'll cut out the insides to fill the void with sin
 So the knife doesn't deal me to loneliness and senseless involvement
 In your devolving personal agenda
 The culprit is the compulsion
 Lesser known to those of good fortunes
 Life is abortion
 Can't you tell the temptation forces us to ignore
 This imminent destruction
 That we've misconstrued as an abundance of the tried and true?
 Tell me, is this all that's worth it?
 Everything warping, trenching through the marshes and corpses
 Sinking the warships, tearing out the roots from the sources
 Crushing the courses
 Humbly, the parasites dormant rose to the surface
 Only to combust with all these grievances and all my shortfalls
 I'll cut out the insides to fill the void with sin
 So the knife doesn't deal me to loneliness
 And I wonder who will find me swimming with the fish
 In a river of faces that scowl upon me?
 I'll stumble through night lights in hopes of finding
 This unattainable love for the life before me
 I'll stay on the dark side so I don't have to face anyone
 Who can't see through me anymore and
 I'm done running from myself and everyone of my problems
 I've gone over this enough
 And I still haven't thought of one good reason
 Or excuse for you to use your last wish on
 My betterment
 My conscience is but a vat of empty promises that weigh upon me
 Surrendering everything
 Tell me, is this all that's worth it now?