while the rain drops

(Is this thing on)
 (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
 (Ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah)
 These days waking up is getting hard now
 I knock the jack back
 I pick up what I put down
 Bad habits comin' round like they're ancient
 It's no surprise that I'm gunna need a rain check
 Not goin out like I don't make any more plans
 Sitting in my room, staring at the ceiling fan
 Wait, who's your man?
 Guess I forgot to ask that
 You haunt my dreams, I can see you in my flashbacks
 I fill my brain with whatever I can find
 I'm self defeating
 Always wasting all my time
 Got a nine to my head, but I swear I'm fine
 I'm unattached from the little that I call mine
 I'm inattentive to these bitches like I go to class
 Reach for the holster, load it up, and then I cock back
 Up to my dome, running frantic like my last lap
 Fill the spaces with distractions
 Cuz you know I'm boutta snap
 Like the lead on my pencil when I try and write
 I smoke a blunt, then I'm sleepin' for the whole night
 I didn't answer cuz I'm busy talkin' to the knife
 Throwin' shade like we forgot about the sun light
 Sometimes it's hard to fight back
 Wake up around noon
 Stuck in bed while I smoke the sack
 Black fingernails creeping down to your body
 Always fucking up like it's way more than a hobby
 Fiendin' for some love, so I'll take what I can get
 Nothings ever enough, death would be the safest bet
 Got ashes on my clothes cuz everything about me is gross
 You said I always did the least, but bitch I always do the most
 People fade away like ghosts, I guess it's for the better
 Loving at what cost? feeling closer with the reaper
 When I see her it's like all time stops
 Cuz I'm asleep while the fucking rain drops
 Smoking packs while I'm alone
 I write these songs and hate myself
 This alcohol straight to the dome
 And I don't pace myself
 Fuck a chaser
 All I chase are these illusions
 Happiness, a fallacy
 I've come to the conclusion
 These days waking up is getting hard now
 I knock the jack back
 I pick up what I put down
 Bad habits comin round like they're ancient
 Its no surprise that I'm gunna need a rain check
 I fill my brain with whatever I can find
 I'm self defeating
 Always wasting all my time
 Got a nine to my head, but I swear I'm fine
 I'm unattached from the little that I call mine