Fuckton Of Cats (feat. Rachel Bloom)

It's come to this, like I knew it would
 Since I'm now single for good
 I know just what I gotta do
 I gotta go get myself a fuckton of cats (A fuckton of cats)
 A fuckton of cats (Way too many cats)
 When you're a permanent bachelorette
 It's mandatory that you go out and get
 A fuckton of cats
 Oh, yeah
 I walk myself down to the Lonely Lady Cat Store
 The smell is overwhelming inside
 This is the future smell of my house
 It's the smell of my dreams that have died
 I walk up to the cat shelf
 Where the cats are labeled big and small
 The saleslady asks, "Is there one you like?"
 And I state, "I'll take them all!"
 I want a fuckton of cats (Meow, a fuckton of cats)
 Give me a fuckton of cats (Meow, a fuckton of cats, meow)
 The saleslady's pumped, she's closin' early
 And headed home to her sad walk-up apartment
 Filled with her own fuckton of cats (Meow meow meow)
 That she got at a discount (Meow meow meow)
 'Cause she works at the cat store (Meow meow meow)
 (Meow meow meow)
 (Meow meow meow meow meow)
 Why have cats over time become
 Synonymous with loneliness?
 We gotta work on our collective image
 We need a new publicist
 The ironic part is we're not that friendly
 If you're lonely, we might make it worse
 Also we sleep, like, sixteen hours a day
 Have you considered getting a dog?
 Nope, I want a fuckton of you guys (Okay, we warned you)
 A fuckton of cats (We're gonna ruin your couch)
 There's a lot of evidence that
 Organisms in cat poop make you crazy
 Yes, we saw that article in The Atlantic
 And then we peed on The Atlantic
 But I still want a fuckton of cats