Hail the Chap

One and a-two!
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 At the approach of the millennial malaise
 There were blights with a need of a perennial braze
 The age of the Corinthian, the plunderer and the dandy
 Had given way to that of the prig and the bore
 Just before boredom became a modus operandi
 Some said stop the rot, I shall take no more
 Society's floundering in squalid desperation
 And what's wanted to save it was a savvy publication
 Now, I've often wondered how best to dress for wrestling
 Or between ties and cravats, which was the best thing?
 Were there really seventy-three ways to doff one's hat?
 There were! I'd rather suspected that
 At last we were decanted knowledge sweet as sherry
 The Chap was here, we were all so very
 Glad of it. You can stay in standard evolution
 Or come and join us in our dandy revolution
 Give your pipe a tap
 Park your rap or trap
 Raise your hat or cap
 As we say, all hail The Chap
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 All hail The Chap
 Now we all know rules are there to be broken
 But never have truer words been spoken
 And in the code hereafter, hey presto,
 Hear the ten rules of The Chap manifesto
 Thou shalt always wear tweed
 Is the only fabric you shall ever need
 Thou shalt never not smoke
 Pipes made from briar, booze aged in oak
 Always be courteous to the ladies
 Give an air of Zeus with a dash of Hades
 Never ever wear PANTALOONS DE NIMES
 Come on young scam there's still time to switch teams
 Thou shalt always doff one's hat
 If you're flanneur or simply like to stop and chat
 Never fasten the lower button of one's WESKIT
 Look, we don't make the rules it's just the best kit
 Thou shalt always speak properly
 Don't give the Westwoods a monopoly
 Never wear plimsolls if not doing sport
 Unless you're a chap-hop superstar sort
 Always worship the trouser press
 Good Mr. Corby, he knows best
 Always cultivate interesting facial hair
 But on the top, here, not under there
 It's a call to charms, a design for living
 Within a world so unforgiving
 Where sloth and banality are the standard brew
 Well, we've upped our standards
 So up yours too!
 Give your pipe a tap
 Park your rap or trap
 Raise your hat or cap
 As we say, all hail The Chap
 ♪
 All hail The Chap
 ♪
 All hail The Chap
 ♪
 (One and a-two!)
 All hail The Chap
 ♪
 (Once again for luck)
 All hail The Chap