If I Were a Girl

If I were a girl
 If I were a girl
 For even just one day
 I'd be the kind of girl that's
 Making her own way in life
 With power and some class
 I'd be kind and generous
 With just a little sass
 But chances are I'd never leave home
 Cuz I got boobs and a hoo hoo
 And nothing really better to do
 But me
 With a magic wand from Hitachi
 My friends would often ask me why my clothes are all askew
 And I'd be digging in my pockets like I was a kangaroo
 Cuz nature will have blessed me with a man in a canoe
 I've got boobs and a hoo hoo
 I've got boobs and a hoo ooo ooo ooo
 Ooooh!
 If I was a girl
 Things would be so clear
 I'd spend a couple hours just standing over a mirror for fun
 Try to make it smile then frown
 Dye the hair a rainbow
 Dress it up like a clown
 Cuz now it's a two ring circus in my pants
 Cuz I got boobs and a hoo hoo
 And nothing really better to do
 But me
 With a bunny that takes batteries
 I'll have to try and figure how to get inside a bra
 It'll likely end up backwards and I'll rub my nay nays raw
 So throw it in the trash and flaunt them in their big debut
 I've got boobs and hoo hoooooo
 I've got boobs and a hoo ooo ooo ooo
 Boobies! (and a hoo ooo)
 (Hoo)
 I'd probably be a lesbian
 Because most of them
 Alright some of them
 OK a few of them
 Are less hairy than men
 If I was a girl
 I'd call up all the dudes
 I'd say come over man you've got to see my hooters
 They're huge
 I'm having trouble standing up
 I don't even know if Playtex makes a G cup
 And where the hell am I bleeding from?
 I don't want boobs or a hoo hoo
 I never knew how much it blew
 To be
 Excited about potpourri
 My stomach's is all crampy and my butt is getting huge
 And I'd love to kill the bastard that invented high heeled shoes
 I had plans to teach my south mouth how to blow in a kazoo
 But I don't want boobs or a hoo hoooo
 I don't want boobs or a hoo hoooo
 It's too much trouble, that darn hoo hoooo
 What are you staring at you pervert at my hoo hooo
 Why don't you love me anymore and my hoo hoooo
 Why are you leaving, don't leave me and my hoo hooo
 If you leave the toilet seat up
 Again you're not getting anymore hoo hoooo
 You never bring me flowers for my hoo hooo
 Oprah says you're an asshole and a hoo hooo
 Don't you love me anymore and my hoo hoooo?
 I need chocolate!