Poop in My Fingernails

You know, I wipe really hard
 And my toilet paper is weak
 Sometimes I break right through and my fingernail is rubbing
 Up against my poopy butt-cheek
 And I am completely unaware
 Of what's goin' on down there
 Until I pull my finger out of my butt and I stare at
 Poop in my fingernails
 Poop in my fingernails
 Poop, poop, poop in my fingernails
 Poop in my fingernails
 Poop in my fingernails
 Poop in my fingernails
 When the toilet paper breaks
 There is nothing left standing in between
 Poop and your fingernails
 And you're never truly gonna get it completely clean
 Poop in my fingernails
 Poop in my fingernails
 Everytime I try to clean it up I fail
 Never ever, ever, ever gonna win
 Because the fecal matter is hiding deep down where the nail meets the skin
 In my fingernails poop in my fingernails
 Tried the clipper, tried the brush
 Scrub a dub, scrub a dub-dub
 But you're only going to get so much
 When the toilet paper breaks
 There's nothing left standing in between
 Poop and your fingernails
 And you're never truly gonna get them completely clean
 If you want the cleanliness of your fingernails to improve
 Go down to the nail salon and ask them if they'll remove
 Every one of your fingernails
 I know, I know it might seem extreme
 But I'm tellin' you that's the only way that
 They're ever gonna be completely clean