That's Reality

If you only knew
 The shit that I had to go through
 In order for me to be here face to face with you
 I don't really think you knew
 You know
 So let me help you understand
 Why I became the man
 Broken man with a gun in hand
 And I keep it moving
 Motherfuckers don't be knowing
 That I grew up living the life of crime
 Up and down for what is mine
 And I see me left behind
 Shit, I'm running outta time
 That's the story of my life
 Shit, and despite the fact
 You always see me on the grind
 But I ain't gonna lie
 The shit got me broken hearted
 Feeling retarded
 But let me tell you how it started
 It started with a little boy
 And he had dreams
 Being raised by a mother
 And the father is nowhere to be found
 So you see me with a frown
 Growing up as a teen
 Rocks in my pocket
 And a pistol in my hand
 Yes, I'm serving them fiends
 Give a fuck what they think
 Ain't nobody ever bothered to help
 But they were very quick to judge
 And condemn me to hell
 So you better believe
 That I do what I must
 And if a motherfucker gets in the way
 Shit, it's ashes to ashes and dust to dust
 You best believe I'm gonna bust
 As I collect what I lust
 I used to think of myself
 As a diamond in the rough
 But as time progressed
 I became nothing but a bum
 Drowning in my sorrows with a bottle of rum
 And it's 151
 Flirting with death
 Tongue kissing on my gun
 In other words
 I didn't give a fuck
 Tell me now
 What future did I have
 What future did I see
 Death at a young age
 Or life in the penitentiary
 And I could never agree
 That that would be the life for me
 So what can I do
 In order to achieve
 'Cause society deceives
 And there's demons after me
 From a life that lived as a teen
 I used to pray every night
 But believing in a god is a fight in itself
 And it's a fight with mental health
 And I can't help but to believe
 That we're living in hell
 'Cause it's a cycle and it repeats
 Do you blame me if I believe
 When all I see is my family tree
 Suffering from a disease
 And it's called poverty
 And I'm the only one that seems
 To question this scheme
 So now the real question is
 What the fuck will I do
 'Cause it's depended on me
 If I don't figure out a way
 Then it's a possibility
 That my whole family tree
 Will remain in poverty
 And now the shit is real tricky 'cause here comes a little girl
 And she calls me dad
 My responsibility
 Is to help my little seed
 To grow up and to believe
 There's a better life to lead
 Than the one that was for me
 Let me help you find and seek
 Your potential abilities
 Just in case I never make it
 You will be the one to see
 A better way and you'll defeat
 The curse that was my family
 'Cause it seems that the curse runs deep
 And I did my very best to avoid the repeat
 But despite all of my talents
 I always end up on my knees
 And I don't know who to blame
 Do I blame myself
 Or do I get superstitious
 And start blaming god in heaven
 Or the devil in hell
 Let me tell you something though
 I can't blame any god, or any fucking supernatural being
 When it's all said and done
 Life is what you make it
 So whatever happens it is all on me
 That's reality