The Pope Poops

What happens when the pitcher's gotta go
 And everyone's expecting him to make a throw?
 He can't just let a little gas out on the mound
 'Cause too much might come out and then his pants would turn brown
 Then everyone would know that the pitcher had to go
 And that he went
 That's why, you see, sometimes in a game
 A pitcher's dominatin', then you see somethin' change
 Lots of wild pitchers, lots of hit batters
 Lettin' the poop come out becomes the only thing that matters
 The manager comes out, the pitcher hands him the ball
 And then he run, run, runs to the nearest toilet stall
 I find it surprising in the world of sports
 That we've never seen a player just a-soilin' his shorts
 With so many cameras on the field
 You'd think one time that would be revealed
 But I guess they're pros and they just know
 How to squeeze their cheeks until they're done with the show